September 30, 2013

The Gospel Today 

Memorial of Saint Jerome, Priest and Doctor of the Church

Luke 9:46-50

An argument arose among the disciples
about which of them was the greatest.
Jesus realized the intention of their hearts and took a child
and placed it by his side and said to them,
“Whoever receives this child in my name receives me,
and whoever receives me receives the one who sent me.
For the one who is least among all of you
is the one who is the greatest.”

Then John said in reply,
“Master, we saw someone casting out demons in your name
and we tried to prevent him
because he does not follow in our company.”
Jesus said to him,
“Do not prevent him, for whoever is not against you is for you.”

Reflection (Sem. John Paul S. Adia):

For whoever is not against you is for you. This is my point of reflection that makes me look back on my vocation. Am I really doing things according to His will? Am I just complying or is this part of self-giving? There is a part of me that is asking on how I do things in His Name. The formation process that I am undergoing is getting more difficult each day. This is indeed a natural part of the formation and I in believe that. But there is a part of myself that questions my own credibility as a follower. Why should I be anxious? Why should I worry on how I execute my task? What if I fail to comply? In this questions that arises in my mind, am I doing things against His will?

Those passing weeks here in the seminary are never a worry-free days somehow. Though I admit that I had a chance to have some fun and enjoyed other activities, these worries are putting me down and triggered my insecurities. Do the apostles felt the same insecurities when they saw a man casting out demons in God’s Name? I can see myself exerting efforts, sometimes became too much and uncertain that when I see my own failures I just felt so disappointed that I do not want to move on. How can I be like little children? People at my age would say that these little children never worry for tomorrow. That is really true. I can remember when I am a toddler, playing and schooling are part of my task and our home is my comfort zone. How can I entrust myself like before? Now that I have learned the word difficult, should I give up? But the reading invites me to believe in Him more – to be one of the least to become the greatest. I cannot promise myself a sudden change of attitude but I am trying to work out on my self-confidence. Failure may be a part of my growth and I have to face it – I have to face my fears.  This is also an invitation for me to do all things in the name of God.

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